almost noon & hungover

[shootuptill5am]

it’s 11:43am and i’m in my friends bed trying to wake up but i don't feel good. the room smells like autumn. i had a dream i was in a hospital, but it switched to something weirder. i kept going into these haunted places or just places with a really bad vibe, like when you walk in a room and you immediately have to leave. it was almost like a fantasy video game world where when places were vacant you could choose to live there. and i had tea and ate good chocolate cake out of a box. but it ended with me walking down a street not being able to keep it together and some lady scratched up and down my arms until i was bleeding. and 2hollis was there? but that’s kind of irrelevant

i hate when dreams make me feel like shit the next day. i can blame it on the hangover but stuff i was thinking about in my dream adds this shitty emotional layer i don't want to deal with. why’d it have to be so vivid and rememberable?

i’m laying here feeling guilty and stuck on certain scenarios. i’m reminded of things i lost that i want back. i feel lonely and unwanted in many regards. i shouldn’t have such a realistic experience of choking up when i’m asleep.

i want to go home. i have so much to do for my academics, i’m honestly pretty screwed, but i feel like i can’t leave bed. maybe the bad feeling will go away later