shootuptill5am | Reading

my eyes feel like theyll fall out but im reenergizing my spirit with hanyu praise tweets.. gonna watch program compilation after all this is over.. eastern europian uke eyes emote.. maybe work on my canon divergence figureskater!hoon jayhoon relationship study fic ...

lavenderfleuret

I got a raise and I passed my postgraduate thesis!

Upd8: I also just received my 2nd of 3 exam marks; passed with flying colours. Just waiting for the final one to kiss this sordid degree goodbye!

Current Mood: confused
Current Location: Insomnia

seasidefics

today has been electric!! first of all USA HOCKEY DO OR DIE!!!! they won gold and of course it was jhuges’ goal!! which he sacrificed teeth for… i’m mad at myself for not waking up at 5am and instead waking up at 1pm (yeah… but in my defense everyone in the house was up till like 3 bc we had a bbq) and so i had to just live vicariously off people celebrating in real time on the tl. but still oh my god so happy and i of course missed txt dream week content. MY FAMILIES

i’m really so happy and pumped and low-key feeling some semblance of patriotism for the first time. it just shows how much of a melting pot this country is and how that’s our biggest strength...as the captain of the us team is mexican american, the game-winning ot scorer is jewish american, and the goaltender is slavic american. like how cool is that?

how much of a goosebump feeling must it have been for jack and quinn hughes?? to achieve this with your brother. there’s this letter going around from before j hughes was even on the devils where they asked him to write to his future self and like… just ~~read it!?~~ the fact he’s achieved all of this… the pictures and videos of them hugging, draped under one flag, and quinn using this as an excuse to be real about his thoughts on all the scrutiny jack has been under this year from the beat reporters. like that’s big brother!!

i’m just so happy and feel electrified. also they are both so white girl wasted but esp quinn, spamming his insta stories the entire day and night, and i feel like again i’m living vicariously through him as i don’t drink but the feeling is the same!

(edit: ok i wrote all of this earlier in the day when i was still running on adrenaline from finding out we won but now all the clips of them partying it up with patel have surfaced…i am no longer feeling patriotic or proud...idk why i'm even surprised, or thought they might be different, when they've proved that they really are just rich white men at the end of the day (even if they are more progressive on other stances)...i kinda wanna delete the prev paragraphs as that's embarrassing...i only feel proud of the women's us team and alysa liu )

now onto txt content… the letters to each other. yeonjun’s to kai’s… that’s his bby! like actually i’m not even being parasocial and looking too much into things for once as yj said it himself!! me and him are never putting that grown ass man down.

and the tyunningism!! love that taehyun says he observes and studies kai like it’s national geographic bc same. i too look at all his mannerisms and catalogue them in my kai-obsessed brain.

and his letter to kai… it has the same parallels to the 2021 birthday letter which low-key made me cry. he loves his best friend so much and just wants kai to be happy. and he is so sweet that it even made my self-proclaimed tyun disliker sister like him! obviously a joke but i think she was just put off by his interview responses in 2020 and it’s just like an inside running joke that she has beef with him. but even she can’t deny how sweet and cutiepie he is.

also sorry, i generally try to take a more professional(?) approach on here for whatever psychological reasons and not talk like the average stan twt acc, but i’m (or should say was) so happy and ecstatic that i can’t help but gush.

i also wanna say a lot more and go more into detail about all the letters to each other, but to be honest my mood has soured a lot since i first started working on this. i’ve been interrupted every single time my fingers started dancing on the keyboard, and this is starting to feel like a chore i just wanna check off yk. i think i’ll just make a separate continuation post about tubatu as moa week progresses and when i’m in a better mood like i was at the beginning of this post :)

anyways i love my tubatus…

Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: action figure by wayv (for some reason its been playing on loop in my head)

lavenderfleuret

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: Tenebrae

riverbound

someone who trained in mall skating rinks won gold in the olympics over someone with olympian parents and top of the line training environment .. themes of class struggle and triumph (!!) u will always be dear to me :') also. hinata shoyo from the concrete winning nationals over people from fertile ground ie 190 cm lefty ushijima wakatoshi... :( <3

mikhail shaidorov u hav gained a #fan i'll be rooting for u !!! :]

riverbound

massive thanks to whichever force is behind the laundry room being uncharacteristically empty on a friday afternoon.. stupid brown doghoon gif aside from period crazies currently at full force ive just been so disproportionately emotional over every little thing these past few months.. perhaps 𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓪𝔂 seasonal depression question mark

i know that and still i opened twitter for a little bit and saw a bunch of stuff from fstwt ahah .. jeng crashout gif . why i dont properly keep up with real people sports #tbh ajsbhs iwaizumi hajime goat of all time not going pro as a player already pummeled my psyche into the ground (+ to this day my brief semi-tangible hanyu ultra-shooter stint still inflicts intense damage to my spirit)

ok last moment of weakness trust im #locking in

lavenderfleuret

I haven't written any new poetry in a while, and my muses haven't been tickling my fancy in the way they normally do. I guess I'm just so busy partaking in the real world (shocker, I know) that I have no time nor inclination to recede into hopeless daydreaming once more. So, let me try and write creatively about the day I've had.

The window is open, and the gentle, chill breeze whispers to me through the trees. It doesn't carry stories, nor songs, nor any sound at all. It speaks in silence, the joy of my life that is to be witnessed, not spoken about.

It says to me, in a quiet moment of reverence,

"I am the coldness you have sought out in this season of heat,
I am the reprieve from the onslaught you have faced.
I am the start of the winter you so love."

The summer of pain has ended. The summer of struggling to walk, alone, the blinding light of the sun searing into my skin with no shelter to run to. The summer of distance, of being unable to reach out, embrace, skin-to-skin with another.

Winter ushers in through the open window. Winter brings with it the warmth of a den of wolves, sharing the same furs. It graces me with newfound refuge, small and comfortable, the group of five around a warm fire. Winter whisks me away into bundled-up embraces of heat and light, snug and safe, welcomed into its fold, from pretty clothes to pastoral fellowship.

I shall shut the window for now, but I shall not forget the sign of the coming times -- the times of hope, the flame that has been lit, the peace I have been seeking.

Current Mood: warm
Current Location: Tenebrae

seasidefics

( Read more... )

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: whatever it takes (Degrassi theme song) 2010-2014 versions

riverbound

new fav question mark !!! predictably it's a lot more normal (?) than what i've been trying lmao hashtag simple is best

finally have actual milk yayayyaypeeee and i have to be up for longer than usual for the #grind so it's back to classic green tea in cold milk today :-D i didnt wanna hang around the kitchen for too long so i just grabbed honey and then i remembered there were still oranges in the fridge so i went and got a slice. squeezed a solid amount of juice into the milk, poured honey (measured with my heart #yup), then steeped it for 25 minutes ! i liked it so so much..

lavenderfleuret

Life has been lovely lately.

My skin's been in a constant state of aftersun; the hours after you've been in the light, tingling and soaked in warm rays. It's been like that for days.

Current Mood: content
Current Location: Tenebrae

kalvingj

girls & zyn

by Kalvin Johnson

February 15, 2026

2/15/26 4:01am Zushi, Japan

A couple of posts ago a mentioned that I was talking to this girl, and it's been going pretty good so far. We've talked on instagram for the most part. We both are into the same sort of things, she likes the same music I do, but there's one thing she loves the most, Zyn.

If you don't know, zyn are basically little nicotine pouches that are place on your gum to make you feel high / buzzed. I like them as well, but they are an absolute bitch to get.

First, there's like only to place near me that even sell them, both of which being around 40 minutes away. I'd say it's worth it, but man it is such a bitch to get them.

Anyways, when I say she's really into them, I mean she's REALLY into them. I was at school and gave them to her, and I swear not even a day later she told me she finished them. Like wow... How the fuck do you finish an entire can of zyn, which is like 15 pouches btw, in an entire day?

Honestly can't blame her, I think like 5 days ago I bought a can for myself and those fuckers lasted me only like three days. They're honestly just too fucking good.

And I'm a person who tries to stretch all of the shit I get because they are so hard to fucking get. But in that particular time they didn't even last me a week.

Anyways that's pretty much it, girls & zyn, a combo that I didn't think that was that popular, but apparently it is.

Not just zyn, she's pretty much into what I do as well.

Pretty much it, see ya.

kj

Current Mood: wow
Current Music: blink-182 - dumpweed

kalvingj

consistency

by Kalvin Johnson

February 15, 2026

2/15/26 3:53am Zushi, Japan

So one of my new years resolution was to be more consistent, especially with this online journal...

Yes, guess I started out like shit

It started out so shit that I had to write this at 3 fuckin am. There's just nothing really to talk about. It's like the 2nd semester and all of the seniors, including me are so fucking burnt out. We are just done at this point.

Imma make one more post of something interesting, just wanted to say how inconsistent I've been so far.

lavenderfleuret

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I'm attending a "Galentines" event in some park way too far out for me, but I'm still making the effort to go to. It's going to be a flower exchange type deal where we create new bouquets by exchanging flowers, from the ones we've brought, with each other.
Sounds all good and gay, right?
Except I feel absolutely fucking exhausted as I type this.
I hope I have the energy for all this nonsense tomorrow.

Current Mood: exanimate
Current Location: Insomnia

seasidefics

( Read more... )

Current Location: profesora lopez’s class
Current Music: DtMF- bad bunny

butyourewrong

it's been a while since i wrote about boys, or in general. i'm getting better. when he confirmed he was already talking to someone, i was okay. not angry or sad or jealous, just okay. it was so weird. its hard to figure out why this is. maybe something finally clicked in my head to make me semi-normal. maybe i finally realized there are a myriad (myriad, wow) of other boys i can watch. maybe im just bored, it's probably that.

he's still cute, and he makes me laugh, i just don't care that much anymore. i don't care if his interesting face exists out there.

Current Mood: content

riverbound

you can make bread out of virtually anything and i think thats beautiful.. got kind of into drinking tea a little (not like Into into bcs im a brokie) recently and today i turned my tea into bread..!!

my sister found a couple different packets of tea sitting somewhere deep in her drawers lol so today my tea atrocity consisted of vanilla chai black tea steeped in milk (had to use milk powder lmfao dookie ass texture & consistency #tbh) to which i then added honey, maple syrup (i have a severe sugar addiction #yeah), probably too much cinnamon powder and raisins, then trace amounts of cocoa powder and 3-flavor jam (cherries, raspberries, strawberries)

it was in fact sweet though not in any meaningful way i almost felt violated.. real liquid milk come back to me....

ok it wasnt really that bad sugar is sugar rizzhoon pose i still liked it :-) anyways so idk i wanted to try it as bread bcs then it could maybe have a chance at real peak status yk.. so i went and put ground flaxseed and baking powder in it and there came bread #woaw..

lavenderfleuret

I am at my happiest when it's raining. I wish it could rain forever, where I could just stay inside all day, under the covers, listening to music, the window half-open, the cold air billowing against the sheer curtains, turning my pages for me. I wish the sky could always be grey, that the leaves could always be dusted gold, that the rain would always sound its droplets against my window. I want wind to blow. I want it all to be still. I want there to be no warmth except that of my own heart, full as ever.

I'm seeing a friend tomorrow! I hope it's still cold, so I can wear my new dress.

Current Mood: full

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b

Reading

#hopecore

News.

electrified

Hope.

haikyuu u r evergreen

all japan podium is the #truth + hanyu the peoples princess 4ever u da real figure skating

Thoughts.

02/17/26 riyah’s random thoughts and ramblings of the day

orange..!!

Valentine's Day post.

girls & zyn - 2/15/26

consistency - 2/15/26

Mwah.

02/11/26 riyah’s random thoughts and ramblings of the day

wonderless

eyes of an eastern europian uke drooling emote . bread

Seasons change.

Profile

February 2026

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