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shootuptill5amwhen i write i feel the buzz under my fingers telling me i am not saying what i really want to say and it doesn't help that the words just aren't coming to me.
the past couple days have felt weird. i'm getting nauseous easily and it seems more common to cry than not. the littlest things are getting to me, like peoples' writings, songs, interactions i'm seeing... at work last night, i heard a customer tell another customer "take care of yourself. you can't take care of anyone else until you take care of yourself." and it made a few tears spill over. i feel ridiculous that i'm being sensitive like this, but i guess when it reaches a point i don't really know what to do except embrace it. i say i'm a nervous person a lot, but in reality i forget how much it really shows until i'm put in situations where it would.
i like my job but lately its been not great, it takes so much of my time that i need towards academics and my managers won't cut my hours. i had to get sent home the other day because i'm still so sick-- i forget if i've mentioned that-- and i took too much medicine. yesterday when i walked in its like everyone could tell something was wrong. my coworker calls me "respira" because i'm too nervous/stressed. he usually gives me a hard time for being the way i am but i can tell he cares, so i'm thankful. honestly, all of my coworkers are sweethearts which makes me want to stay at my job. i just don't really have a good balance between my academics and work and social life, and i definitely have been prioritizing work over all of that, but not out of my own choice to an extent... i'm worried about what they're going to say about my availability change for next semester because my schedule and extracurriculars and applications are going to consume my life. that's a problem for later though i guess.
it seems i've been consumed with negativity and pessimism for the past few days, so i'll leave here with some positives. it'll help me feel better, maybe. i'm going to a concert i've been waiting a long time for next friday which is exciting! i still need to plan/get an outfit but i think i'll be able to come up with something cute. that weekend is full of fun stuff, actually. i'm basically going out 3 days in a row with a concert and holiday events and a dj set which is exciting. i haven't been able to do that in ages. the week after will be tough because i have my finals but i will push through, i always do.
i just found out my friend is coming to meet me at a coffee shop i'm doing work at in an hour and a half. the little things make getting through the big stuff a lot easier.
the past couple days have felt weird. i'm getting nauseous easily and it seems more common to cry than not. the littlest things are getting to me, like peoples' writings, songs, interactions i'm seeing... at work last night, i heard a customer tell another customer "take care of yourself. you can't take care of anyone else until you take care of yourself." and it made a few tears spill over. i feel ridiculous that i'm being sensitive like this, but i guess when it reaches a point i don't really know what to do except embrace it. i say i'm a nervous person a lot, but in reality i forget how much it really shows until i'm put in situations where it would.
i like my job but lately its been not great, it takes so much of my time that i need towards academics and my managers won't cut my hours. i had to get sent home the other day because i'm still so sick-- i forget if i've mentioned that-- and i took too much medicine. yesterday when i walked in its like everyone could tell something was wrong. my coworker calls me "respira" because i'm too nervous/stressed. he usually gives me a hard time for being the way i am but i can tell he cares, so i'm thankful. honestly, all of my coworkers are sweethearts which makes me want to stay at my job. i just don't really have a good balance between my academics and work and social life, and i definitely have been prioritizing work over all of that, but not out of my own choice to an extent... i'm worried about what they're going to say about my availability change for next semester because my schedule and extracurriculars and applications are going to consume my life. that's a problem for later though i guess.
it seems i've been consumed with negativity and pessimism for the past few days, so i'll leave here with some positives. it'll help me feel better, maybe. i'm going to a concert i've been waiting a long time for next friday which is exciting! i still need to plan/get an outfit but i think i'll be able to come up with something cute. that weekend is full of fun stuff, actually. i'm basically going out 3 days in a row with a concert and holiday events and a dj set which is exciting. i haven't been able to do that in ages. the week after will be tough because i have my finals but i will push through, i always do.
i just found out my friend is coming to meet me at a coffee shop i'm doing work at in an hour and a half. the little things make getting through the big stuff a lot easier.
