11.23

[shootuptill5am]

sometimes i feel like i am nothing but an option or a backup plan to others. as if my time does not matter and someone can choose me and use my time at their discretion whenever they want. but whose fault is it except mine when i keep allowing it to happen?

i need to stick up for myself, honestly. but at the end of the day i always end up trying to comfort myself with all those thoughts and i stay quiet. a friend once told me “i love how you show up for yourself”, and i understand that can be a compliment, but why is that even recognized? and if i don’t show up for myself, who will?

i hate flakiness. it feels like a punishment. i need to be louder