perception
Nov. 19th, 2025 02:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shootuptill5amoftentimes people joke about the idea of how other people will perceive them, but at the end of the day it's the type of question that i simmer on.
earlier today my professor handed back our exams that, on the last portion, i admittedly did not do well on. she pulled me aside after class to give me some tough love, but i appreciate her caring. our conversation drifted a bit into her observations of me. i feel as if i am a generally private person-- i feel the need to keep most things to myself(at least the heavier stuff). she told me that her 'mother's intuition' is telling her i'm too tired. i need to take care of myself. i'm doing things that will kill me. she said she could tell from my eyes.
hearing that was a bit jarring, to say the least. i'm not sure what she saw in them to figure that out. do eyes really tell as much as people say they do? i'm not sure if its my appearance or demeanor or attitude or, if it really was my eyes-- but i haven't been forcefully unfolded in front of someone like that in a long time. it made me step outside to sit with it all for a while. the now-common coldness in the air felt threatening.
tomorrow will be better, hopefully. i hold onto that.
earlier today my professor handed back our exams that, on the last portion, i admittedly did not do well on. she pulled me aside after class to give me some tough love, but i appreciate her caring. our conversation drifted a bit into her observations of me. i feel as if i am a generally private person-- i feel the need to keep most things to myself(at least the heavier stuff). she told me that her 'mother's intuition' is telling her i'm too tired. i need to take care of myself. i'm doing things that will kill me. she said she could tell from my eyes.
hearing that was a bit jarring, to say the least. i'm not sure what she saw in them to figure that out. do eyes really tell as much as people say they do? i'm not sure if its my appearance or demeanor or attitude or, if it really was my eyes-- but i haven't been forcefully unfolded in front of someone like that in a long time. it made me step outside to sit with it all for a while. the now-common coldness in the air felt threatening.
tomorrow will be better, hopefully. i hold onto that.
